Turn Of The Leaves
by Crosslit.Heavens
Summary: Kurama's thoughts after his mother's funeral, and the reason he decides to keep living. One-shot.


**Turn Of The Leaves**

**_By: Foxgirl Ray_**

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He sat on the front porch and stared up at the sky, wondering how time had gone by so fast, wondering how he hadn't noticed what was going on around him sooner.

The funeral had just taken place, near sunrise, the day beautiful and not very cloudy. The service hadn't lasted very long, but, to him, it had seemed like forever. It had felt like he was observing it from the outside, like it hadn't truly been happening. And he still couldn't get himself to say the words, to make them real.

"She is dead," the words felt ugly when they left his mouth, putrid. "Mother is _dead_."

But, if that were true, then what else did he have to live for?

The reality of the situation sunk in, and he felt the heaviness of the world weigh in on him, the darkness his mind had been keeping back creep in.

It was true. She was _dead_, and he couldn't bring her back.

It had happened only a few days before, and there had been no warning. His step-father had gotten the call when they were at work, had nearly collapsed. It had been a heart attack that had stolen her, something no one could have prevented.

This was real, not just fiction.

She was _dead_, and there was no denying it.

He felt his fists clench as an overwhelming sadness consumed him, along with an anger that he was unfamiliar with - an anger that was just as ugly as that darkness of sadness, bottomless and careless.

He didn't understand why they hadn't told him. It wasn't as if he didn't have friends in Spirit World, who would have known beforehand. In fact, Botan was probably the one who had led his mother away to the afterlife…

But, of course they hadn't told him. Koenma was no fool. The Jr. ruler knew that he would have done something to prevent it - done anything to prevent his mother's death. And he would have done anything, whatever it took. He would have done something now if he'd thought it would help, though of course he knew that it wouldn't.

She was dead, and there was no changing that, no getting over this engulfing grief.

But, the question was: what was he going to do now?

"Why're you so sad, Shuichi-san?" the voice startled him, and he looked up, finding a little girl standing in front of him, staring him down as she cocked her head softly, bangs falling into her eyes. "Is it because of momma? Are you mad?" the little girl frowned at that, hugging a stuffed animal to her chest.

He noticed what the stuffed animal was - a fox, pointy ears and all - and despite everything, he started to laugh.

The girl regarded him for a moment before she smiled sweetly. "See, you shouldn't be sad, Shuichi-san," she said, and then looked up at the sky, pointing. "Momma's up there, in heaven. She'll be okay," she looked back down at him then, brown eyes bright. "We're okay, too?" she asked, wondering.

He stopped laughing abruptly as he stared at the little girl, who was a near carbon-copy of his mother, and who's name he knew to be Sakura, after the cherry blossom trees. She was young, about three, and he'd only seen her a few times since she'd been born.

He had let himself stumble into the stupidity that most humans did - into the routine of work, finances, money. He hadn't spend enough time with his family, and he regretted it now...especially since his mother was gone…

He felt the overwhelming sad darkness creep upon him again, though he pressed it back and hid it away, saving it for later. He didn't want to look upset - not now, in front of Sakura. He let out his frustration at a later time, truly grieve, but now, he wanted to at least appear happy.

Because even though his mother was gone, he felt that he still had a reason to go on. He still had a family, had a piece of her lingering here…with this little girl, Sakura.

He smiled at Sakura as best he could, the little girl still awaiting his answer. "Yes," he said, as the wind started to play in the leaves, turning them, changing the outlook of everything. "We're okay."

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**Hello everyone, and thank you for reading! I really hope you enjoyed my latest one-shot! ;) **

**I hope everyone caught onto the fact that this was from Kurama's POV. I didn't want to write it at the top because I thought it would spoil the story, but I tried to make it apparent from the beginning. **

**I don't own YYH of course (though I wish I did!) only little Sakura. I've always wondered what it would be like for Kurama to have a little sis, and now I know! **

**If anyone is interested in seeing a second shot to this fic, then let me know! I may write a few more snidbits with Kurama and Sakura.  
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